I moved here for a couple reasons and now today most of those aren’t sticking with me today. I’ve been asking myself what would of happened if I hadn’t tried so hard to stay here. Would I be happier? Would I be in a position that I love? Would i be less lonely? I don’t know the answers and will never know them.

I’ve looked high and low for a way out. I’m waiting on God and knowing that if it is His will for me to move on then He will make a way.

All this quiet all the time is getting to me.

I miss my best friend. I miss her, but why do I feel wrong for feeling that way?

Last week I was laying on my face before God singing “I am a friend of God”. So many times I’ve sung that but this one time brought me to tears. I could say He is my friend but I wasn’t letting Him be my best friend. Out of all my failed friendships God remained strong. He always stayed up late with me and let me pour out my heart to Him. Even in myselfishness and want to go on and on about the same situations He continued to listen. He fights for me and has my back. I had been praying for a good friend to come into my life that I could depend on and the whole time God has been saying “I am here why sit and wish for someone to talk to when I am sitting beside you”. Over and over I told God that I knew He was there but His reply was “do you?”
I have relied on man too much and too little on God. He was trying to protect me from all of this months ago but I didn’t listen. I have sought for friends but neglected the one true friend that couldn’t fail. I clung onto close deep friendships rather than deepening my walk. I was selfish. A friendship is 2 people.. And I the one who has to tell people that alot forgot it myself. Jesus is my king, but also my humble friend.

The idea of being stuck inside a boat with a zoo like enviroment makes me think of all the smells and sounds that on a normal day I wouldn’t have to deal with.

Though the environment would not be the most preferred.. Knowing that this was the way God was saving me would have me willing to take the challenge.

We need to learn that just bc God gives us a way out that is not normal doesn’t mean we should throw it out. His ways are higher than mine. No matter how stupid I may look to man in my obedience to God I can’t give up.

At the beginning of chapter 9 God talks to Noah about the lifeblood of man. We should not kill anyone with lifeblood ( blood that gives vitality) for if we take life ours will also be taken bc we are created in God’s image.

Then God made a promise to never send a flood to wipe out the land of humanity. The sign of this covenant is the rainbow.

Noah then began to have a vineyard. He got drunk one day and fell asleep naked. His son Ham saw him naked while the other 2 sons went in to the tent and covered him up without seeing him naked. When Noah got up he found out about Ham and cursed him while blessing his other sons.

At the very end of the chapter Noah dies.

I’ve been thinking alot about my purpose and just what God wants from me. God has brought another mentor into my life that is pouring into me.. perfect timing.

I can wonder all I want what would things be like if.. but “what ifs” won’t do me any good. I have to live in the now and not worry about looking in the rear view mirror. God has been doing alot of healing on my heart and it’s getting easier everyday.

I can’t worry about what if I never tried to move back here. It happened.. I’m here. I’ve made some new relationships and have been given responsiblities that I need to continue to take care of.

Every sermon lately has spoken directly to my heart about the pain and issues I’ve been going through. God has been faithful to stand beside me even in a time of being lost in what to do.

I have an interview this week far away from here. I’m ready but nervous at the same time. I wish she knew what all it entailed then she wouldn’t have been so quick to push me away.. but I guess she will never know.

The sky is the limit for me.. I feel like I can go anywhere in the world. It’s like getting a free ticket to go any place I’ve ever wondered about. I thought about moving to Cali for the school and even down in south Texas.. who knows where God will take me. All I know is that I don’t want to go anywhere if God doesn’t go with me.

The winter season has been rough, but I am promised spring will come.

We all know of Cain and Abel. Cain kills Abel b/c God is satisfied with Abel’s offering.  We need to take constructive criticism. When God is teaching us we need to listen. Rather than killing Abel Cain could of decided to do what is right the next time when bringing an offering to God.

So after Abel dies, Cain is cursed to wander the land. So in these few chapters there are 2 Enochs. The first is of the lineage of Cain. The second is of the lineage of Seth who is the third son of Adam and Eve. I love what it says about the second Enoch.

Genesis 5

“¹⁸ When Jared had lived 162 years, he became the father of Enoch. ¹⁹ And after he became the father of Enoch, Jared lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters. ²⁰ Altogether, Jared lived 962 years, and then he died.

²¹ When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. ²² And after he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. ²³ Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years. ²⁴ Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.”

It seems as if during this time men were living up to the age of 700s,800s, and even 900s. Enoch only lived 365 years. He was on the Earth far less than the others yet he walked with God and God took him to be with Him. There is no speak of death just that God took him away.. amazing.

Chapter 6 talks about Noah and the flood. It lines out the exact measurements of the ark and how and what shall be saved from the flood.

Obviously this is the beginning of the Bible. The beginning of life and our faith. God is eternal and has no beginning nor end. Here is where everything starts.

Creation

Adam and Eve

The Fall of Man

Here is my goal: 3 chapters a night during the weekdays and 5 on the weekends.

As Christians we are to be a vessel for the Holy Spirit. When we walk into the mall and pass by those who are sick they should be healed because we are ambassadors of Christ. That same power that conquered the grave is in us. I find myself praying over people as I Hug them and even shake hands with.

My Spirit is beaming. The power of your testimony can encourage someone who is going through the same thing you were.

My prayers are now for my boss. I dreamed all last time of sharing this miracle with him and being able to pray with him. This healing is not for everybody else… It’s for you! When I walk I into his office i pray over him and that room. I pray that Gods glory would invade that place and bring a supernatural healing to his body and that he would never be the same. My people come to Christ through his healing. God show up at DHS! Bring your power and restoration to this dry desperate place.

There is no ailment that is beyond the healing powers of Christ. Even those dealing with the mind are not beyond Him for I am a living testimony of that.

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Jimmy encourages me daily. His drive.. His passion… Stirs me. We need wisdom in where to go from here. God is the center and that is where He will remain. I love talking about the things of God with him.